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Sex in movie theater

Sex In Movie Theater

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Sex in movie theater

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Sex In Movie Theater

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The idea getting nasty in a car, or "road head" as mom used to call it when she yelled in the auditorium during our school plays about why she was leaving for a half hour, is a staple of the not-so-exotic fantasy life of many people.

Back in the 50s, from what we've gleaned from movies made in the 80s , everyone was taking their girl up to make out point and then impregnating her on some luxurious leather upholstery within arm's reach of another car where another couple was doing the exact same thing.

As time went on, the parked sex changed to sex while driving, because who doesn't like more thrills?

Probably the numerous people who have been in accidents while having sex in the car. A quick Google search shows stories of accidents in Idaho, Iowa and Romania.

One brilliant couple in Charleston, WV wrecked their car and cleverly tried to pretend like it was no one's fault and that the woman was driving drunk.

Naturally, the cops told her the penalty for that, after which she quickly pointed out that her boyfriend was driving and she was going down on him.

In Connecticut, Heather Specyalski tried to use a blowjob as defense against a manslaughter charge brought against her for causing a car wreck that killed a man.

So while the idea of car sex may be kind of hot, when you factor in the intense insanity of being horribly distracted in a fast moving chunk of metal and flammable liquids, it loses a bit of its appeal.

We've probably all been duped into going to a club with our friends at some point. You just turned 21, you're still mildly dazzled by intensely loud music, and there's an apparent meat market of horribly skanky people you never knew existed in your town, all in one place!

Unremarkable women you see every day at work are suddenly dressed in fabric swatches and will eagerly shake their guns like epileptics shoot-fighting Pokemon in a strobe light store.

Who are you to complain? All this gyration and movement can, occasionally, lead to unseemly dance floor desires and the risky amongst us may venture to get a taste of forbidden nightclub nookie.

Big deal, right? You sneak into the bathroom with a sweaty stranger, hop into a stall and go to town. The same stall where a nightclub full of tanked strangers have been visiting all night.

You ever tried pissing while totally drunk? How's your aim? Keep that in mind, because it means every surface in that bathroom is a bacteria risk for things like e.

You don't need to know what any of those diseases mean. The bottom line is, you're boning on top of the urine and poo of hundreds of strangers.

If you're thinking you'll slip into the ladies room because it's cleaner, you should know that while the men's room may be ankle deep in piss, women's washrooms tend to have a higher amount of fecal bacteria present, in some cases twice as much.

Now, since this isn't the article to investigate this particular phenomenon, check out next week to read "7 Reasons Men Are Better Than Women at Pooping" , we'll just focus on the gross and dangerous parts: Microorganisms are the third leading cause of death behind heart attacks and cancer, so you may not want to rub your juicy parts all over the nightclub bathroom counter after all.

For unknown reasons, some people are down with the idea of sex in the back of a cab. Maybe it's the feel of that svelte faux leather upholstery that so many other asses have touched, maybe it's the scent of fake pine and cured meats or maybe it's the thrill of an unshaved man who also stinks of fake pine and cured meats watching you in the rear view mirror.

Aside from all the hideous and obvious downsides to cab sex, there's always the chance you'll end up on some site like taxicams.

Cabbies have been caught in the past for having hidden cameras in the their cars to film couples in the back and, as so many girls gone wild have learned, what seems like a good idea at the time turns into an epically shitty idea in retrospect when your grandmother calls you after just getting the internet and wants to know why there's a video of you with your fingers lodged inside another human being in the back of a Yellow Cab.

We're gonna be internet stars! People having sex at movie theaters is about as old as movie theaters themselves. It's dark, the floors are sticky, you're with your best gal.

Maybe you're watching a movie that you find particularly sexy. Whether you're watching Tomb Raider , Megan Fox doing anything, or Jurassic Park 3 , one thing leads to another and suddenly you're the Mayor of Boner City and you can't think of a single better idea than porking in the darkened theater.

You may be surprised to learn that not all the stickiness on the floor is the result of spilled Pepsi and the vomit of children who couldn't handle the latest Pixar masterpiece.

Some of it is just good old fashioned human effluence. Bacteria like bacillus cereus have been found in some theaters which is known to cause quick, sexy bouts of diarrhea.

And, if you hadn't stopped to consider it, if you're humping in a theater there's a good chance someone else was too and left behind some runny evidence.

So while you're motor boating your lady friend and your hand hits a patch of goo on the arm rest, don't say we didn't warn you, Mr. Of course, if filth doesn't frighten you, the law is on to your little plan as well and has been since the early 's, so you're not fooling anyone by sitting in the back row.

Should also read: "Or Masturbate. When the slightly oily-faced usher gets called in to stop your rutting, he may have the police backing him.

Share on SMS. Share via Email. By Isabel Zacharias. The first thing you learn is not to sit down. The auditorium is concrete and cavernous, the insulation visibly crumbling from the high ceiling.

The guy in the striped polo shirt showing us around is probably in his early 30s, making him the youngest person here by a decade. UUHHH s coming from the people in the room, reclining on a hodgepodge of floral-patterned couches that serve as the only seating in the place.

There are five guys jacking off in a circle around them, and I realize the porn is just white noise for the sex in the room.

This is a meeting place for swingers, exhibitionists, voyeurs and curious hangers-on to get off and get each other off. Marvin explains: "There were a few different designated spots around the cinema where different men would stand on for hours on end, looking very, very sad.

Where you stood advertised what you were looking for. For example, if you stood in the corner by the bathroom, that meant you wanted to suck someone off.

A different spot meant you were down for something else. That was a popular one, and the rotation was fast. There was one spot parallel to that, but it was kind of out of the way, and away from where most men would hang out.

It was less popular. Another spot was by the women's bathroom. I think one of their 'games' was pretending they were a lady going in there, and then some guy would look through a peephole as the other guy did You have to understand, though, that those guys needed to mix things up in between semi-public masturbation sessions, seeing as how Holy what?

What kind of smut was this cinema showing for its customers to burn a whole day there? Also, how much money did Marvin's boss make selling sports drinks to dehydrated marathon masturbators someone get the electronic broom?

My boss would choose pretty mainstream things. Nothing too crazy, as in no fetishes. They wouldn't care what movie would be playing.

These aren't happy men," Marvin said. Then they would shuffle in, buy a ticket, and go start their day in the dark.

They would come out for peanuts, chips, popcorn we would sell in the lobby, and hurry back in like little rodents. An entire 12 hours is a bit extreme, but it happened.

On average, I estimate men spent four hours per visit. Well done. Hey look, another double entendre. Good job, us. Anyway, despite literally everything we've mentioned so far, Marvin doesn't remember this job as particularly pleasant.

A month into the job, there's no way I could be aroused by an XXX movie. It was moving wallpaper, basically.

It's still like that. If I see an xHamster clip or whatever, it has no effect on me whatsoever By the seventh or eighth month, I dreaded working there.

Once the novelty wears off, you notice the atmosphere is thick with loneliness, yearning, and dissatisfaction. I still associate all porn with those feelings, which is probably why I don't like it anymore.

By being exposed to so much porn, Marvin eventually started seeing the man behind the curtain. And once he threw that pervert out of the theater, he also noticed that porn is kind of depressing behind the scenes.

The illusion is lost on me. That girl in the movie is paying bills. Most of the time, her vagina isn't wet.

So much porn with dry vaginas! And no one cares. It's fake. It's like wrestling.

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The police suspects a new mob is trying to take over the district. Andrew is meticulous almost to the point of obsession.

From the way he carries his clothes to the manner he delivers his Physics lectures, Andrew is methodical in everything he does.

Tous publics 89 min Drama. Psychological drama about a young, inexperienced film reviewer who falls for the charms of a well-established female colleague.

A challenging look at the essence of film critique as well as an erotic encounter between two unequals. X 90 min Comedy. The randy adventures and misadventures of a group of out-of-towners attending a trade show in Berlin.

Jonathan has nothing but his solitude and his work as a moose, entertaining children in the local shopping mall. Both positions bring him little but desolation, as will the animal fur TV 47 min Drama.

A peaceful hotel getaway ends in disaster for Don and Megan, an LSD trip could have a disastrous effect on Roger's marriage, and Peggy loses her cool after an unsuccessful pitch meeting.

Votes: 2, Drama, Romance. Middle school teacher Eva falls in love with 1st grade teacher Daniela. Eva finally acts on her feelings, then tells her husband about it.

An upheaval and fight over the children ensues. R Drama. Dominic, a film projectionist in Montreal, spends his nights in the projection booth of an erotic arthouse theater, fooling around with his girl Gina.

They notice seductive Jasmine, a married regular who heats up their sex life. Votes: 5. Sign In. IMDb user rating average 1 1.

Prime Video Rent or Buy 4. Share on LinkedIn. Share on Email. Share on Pinterest. Share on Tumblr. Share on WhatsApp. Share on SMS.

Share via Email. By Isabel Zacharias. The first thing you learn is not to sit down. The auditorium is concrete and cavernous, the insulation visibly crumbling from the high ceiling.

The guy in the striped polo shirt showing us around is probably in his early 30s, making him the youngest person here by a decade.

UUHHH s coming from the people in the room, reclining on a hodgepodge of floral-patterned couches that serve as the only seating in the place. There are five guys jacking off in a circle around them, and I realize the porn is just white noise for the sex in the room.

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